I had forgotten how totally funny Movies in Fifteen minutes were especially Phantom of the Opera.

"[But Raoul is too late, because the mirror has opened and Christine has been pulled through by… an “angel” in formal wear. And a mask. Well, half a mask.]

INCREDIBLY '80S MUSIC: DUHHHHHH! DUNDUNDUNDUN DUHHHHHHH!

CHRISTINE: Wow, I had no idea all these gold candelabra arms were right behind my room.

THE ANGEL OF MUSIC: Yeah, I got ’em cheap off some beast. You like?

[The Angel then takes her through the opera house basement on a horse, then by a ferry, then a stagecoach, then a steamboat, then a biplane with a layover in the fourth cellar, and finally to a gondola. They are serenaded by electric guitars and waterproof candles.]

CHRISTINE: Are we there yet?

THE PHANTOM: No.

CHRISTINE: Are we there yet?

THE PHANTOM: No.

CHRISTINE: Will we get there any faster if I flash all of my thigh and possibly more?

THE PHANTOM: …Yes.

© 2005 Cleolinda Jones. All rights reserved. cleolinda.livejournal.com